


All Was Golden

by alcoholandregret



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: M/M, mikey just really loves rain and also nate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-07
Updated: 2018-01-07
Packaged: 2019-03-01 12:41:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13295115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alcoholandregret/pseuds/alcoholandregret
Summary: "What are you doing?" Nate laughs, drawing him out of his thoughts. "See anything interesting?" and he's resting his chin on Mikey's shoulder so he can look out of the window.Mikey wonders if there's any part of his life that hasn't been affected by Nate in some way. There has to be, like, obviously there has to be. It doesn't feel like it, though. He's staring out the rain streaked window as the buildings around them fade into the darkness of the quiet dusk, and Nate is right the fuck there.





	All Was Golden

**Author's Note:**

> Title from [When The Day Met The Night by Panic! at the Disco](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eKKdy4ucD7Y)

It rains in a lot of places.

Okay, so that's, like, really fucking obvious, right? Of course it rains in a lot of places. It rains pretty much everywhere at some point. It's weird to think about, though, if you actually really consider it. Is there a place on this planet, no matter how small, where rain has never touched? The earth has had an atmosphere for a really long time or something, right? They probably learned about exactly when it formed in some science class or another, but that was so long ago. It's not important, really. Regardless, it seems actually impossible to know if there is anywhere ever that has never seen rain. Like, even if it's just a square inch, or centimetre, or anything like that.

There has to be. 

But also, there can't be.

Mikey relates to that.

"What are you doing?" Nate laughs, drawing him out of his thoughts. "See anything interesting?" and he's resting his chin on Mikey's shoulder so he can look out of the window.

Mikey wonders if there's any part of his life that hasn't been affected by Nate in some way. There has to be, like,  _ obviously _ there has to be. It doesn't feel like it, though. He's staring out the rain streaked window as the buildings around them fade into the darkness of the quiet dusk, and Nate is right the fuck there. 

The difference between the places where rain may or may not have touched and the ways Nate may or may not have touched his life is, well, it depends on the day, he guesses. Nate feels like actual sunshine that's followed him around, always within reach. Warm, inviting, as bright as his smile when he laughs at Mikey's jokes - it doesn't feel like Nate puts the sun in the sky, it feels like he  _ is _ the sun. Except one that never sets.

He'd say the difference is just that - that Nate is the sun and rain is, well, rain, but rain is comforting too. Especially on days like this, where it's still warm and the sun has just set so the sky is still kind of bright and everything just feels  _ good _ . The sound of rain has always been one of his favourite ambient noises. Any place that has never seen rain would be missing out. Anyone missing Nate would be missing out.

"I really don't know what we're looking at," Nate whispers, soft, like he's afraid he might break the moment.

"It rains everywhere."

"It sure does, Mike."

Yeah. It sure does.

Nate doesn't lift his chin from his shoulder, just wraps his arms around Mikey's torso, and they keep looking out the window, and Mikey can't imagine a life without Nate or a place without rain.

Right now, he has both, and it's really, really nice. He has the rain, and the sun, and when you have both of those, you get-

Mikey laughs softly to himself, and Nate tilts his head so it's resting against his. "What?"

"Rainbows."

"I think it's too dark for a rainbow."

"Maybe," Mikey shrugs with the shoulder Nate isn't on.

"Maybe in the morning."

Mikey is used to  _ maybe _ with Nate. It's pretty much the way it always is. The way it always has been. He just hopes it isn't the way it always will be.

Maybe rain will never touch that spot it's missed forever, after all.

The sun is shining when he wakes up, his head tucked under Nate's chin while Nate scrolls through Instagram, and he loves Nate a lot.

"Any rainbows?"

"No rainbows."

"Damn," he mutters and presses his face back into his best friend's neck. "Sucks."

"Sure does."

It really fucking does. 

On some level, he knew it was going to happen, that Nate was going to get to play in Binghamton, and he was just going to get sent back down to Missy. His stupid, stupid fucking knee. It ruined everything - his shot at the NHL, and his shot with Nate. Okay, maybe not that last one, but it sure as fuck doesn't help. It at the very least took him away from him.

Before Nate left for New York, he bought Mikey a camera.

"I don't want to miss anything," he smiled sadly at him when he handed it over. "In Jersey, back home, wherever. Take lots of pictures."

"I will," Mikey nodded, and he kind of wanted to cry, kind of wanted to kiss him, but did neither, just pulling him into a tight hug.

He's never really been one for photography, at all, but he takes the camera with him everywhere. Before he left Jersey, he took it to the shore with him every time he went, taking pictures of birds or the sea or shells or anything, really. If it caught his eye, he wanted Nate to see it, too.

Taking pictures got harder once he got back home, though, since now he has to, like, actually play. He takes pictures from his bedroom window, when the sky is pretty or if that blue jay Nate loves so much - the one he only ever refers to as Stroman - is out on the fence. He takes them when he goes into the city, of buildings that look nice, or places they used to go a lot.

He takes pictures of the rain.

He takes pictures of rain streaked windows.

Those ones are always his favourite.

He takes a picture out the window of every hotel room he stays in, because Nate said he didn't want to miss anything, and this is what he'd be missing.

He takes pictures at World Juniors, of Buffalo and his teammates and of the party after they win the gold. Those are mostly blurry and he was constantly afraid he'd drop or lose his camera, but he misses Nate, and this is the only way he can pretend he's spending this time with him.

Snow is really pretty, he finds after he gets back and can take more pictures. He really likes the way it looks on the trees, untouched.

He loves the snow, but he misses the rain. He misses Nate.

He remembers Nate talking about his favourite stars, and he can't remember which ones they were, or where they are, or why, or. He takes pictures of the sky every night it's clear enough. Once, he went out to the park just outside of Mississauga that they've gone to a couple of nights and took pictures there. 

In the back half of their season, it warms up, and the snow melts away, and the rain starts again, but it makes his heart hurt without Nate. He takes pictures, anyway. It almost feels like it helps.

It rains in a lot of places. 

He keeps taking pictures of rain soaked windows, and hotel windows, and more often than not, now, it seems like those are one in the same.

The rain is back, and Nate is not, and Mikey has yet to see a fucking rainbow.

It doesn't help that his sun is gone.

They don't even make the playoffs this year. It fucking hurts. 

He takes pictures of his teammates before they leave, and he thinks they see him doing it, but if they do they don't mention it. Candids always look nicer than posed pictures. They really give you the feel of the situation, it's nice. It's what he wants Nate to have.

Binghamton doesn't make the playoffs either. He's sad for Nate, but he's honestly just really glad he gets to have his best friend back. Nate tells him when he'll be back, and Mikey feels like he needs to mark his calendar.

He does, simply drawing a little sun around the 18. 

Nate comes over pretty much as soon as he'd dropped his stuff off at his home, and it's raining, but Mikey goes outside to meet him. He takes a picture as soon as Nate gets out of the car, and he just looks so  _ happy _ and the rain was just starting to dampen his messy hair, and holy  _ shit _ did Mikey miss him. 

The camera around his neck presses into their chests when they hug, but neither of them care, and they're getting soaking wet, and Mikey laughs, thinking about every stupid romance movie that has ever been made ever. He doesn't get the boy in this one, though. He can't even find it in him to let that hurt too badly right now, too elated just to see his friend again.

Nate pulls away and moves some of Mikey's dripping hair out of his face, and Mikey can't stop smiling at him when-

"Holy shit."

"What?"

He just steps to the side and turns his camera on, taking a picture of it.

"Oh, a rainbow,” Nate muses when he turns to see it.

They go inside, and Mikey gets them towels from the hall cabinet. They just sit on the floor in his bedroom, leaning against his mattress and each other, and it feels like he didn't miss a beat. Like they didn't miss a beat.

"So you used that, then?" Nate gestures to the camera on the floor next to Mikey.

"Yeah," he nods, lifting it up to put it in his lap. "Pretty much all the time."

"Can I see?"

"What?"

"Can I see the pictures?"

"There's, like, a thousand of them, dude."

"So," Nate shrugs and lifts the camera up. "I wanna see them. It's why I gave it to you."

Mikey nods and swallows, because suddenly the photographs seem so personal. Like, he hadn't shared them with anyone else, but this is why he even was taking them in the first place. Besides, he's trusted Nate with a lot more than just some pictures.

"They aren't good," he says when he opens the menu. "But they were fun to take."

He hasn't looked through them himself, so he didn't even realise how bad they actually were at first - unfocused and off centre. Telling the stories behind some of them as he goes on throughout the past seven months in photo form is really fun.

There's the time they were carving pumpkins before Halloween, and he and Ryan ended up throwing the pumpkin guts at each other, and a bunch of seeds got stuck in Ryan's hair. 

There's a picture of Matt Strome as all the cheese slid off his slice of pizza after one of their games. 

"I really like this one," Nate taps the screen. It's one of the rainy windows. That one was from Kitchener. Nate's parents had gone to the game to watch Mikey, and it was a lot, honestly. "There's a lot like it."

"Yeah," Mikey shrugs, "I really like rain."

"I didn't know that."

"I don't talk about it much."

"Oh."

"Hey, Stroman!" Nate cheers when they get to the next picture. "That's a good one, I want it."

"Really?"

"Definitely. He's so cute."

"Whatever you say."

They get to the pictures from Buffalo, and Nate takes the camera from him, and he has the weirdest look on his face, but it's a good look.

"I'm proud of you," he hands the camera back. "So proud."

"You said," Mikey laughs. Nate had called him as soon as he could, and he congratulated him for like, three hours.

"Good. I'll say it again, probably."

"I bet."

It's not too long after that that they make their way to the pictures of the night sky, and Nate stares at each picture for a long time. The ones from the park take the longest, and when the next picture is just a wall outside of a hotel in Erie, he goes back to the last one of the stars. He looks at it for another stretch of time before looking up at Mikey.

"Why'd you take those?"

"I missed you," Mikey shrugs, and he can't break eye contact for some reason. "And you talk about the stars a lot."

Nate's silent for a second, then he looks back down at the camera. "You know why I like the stars?"

"They're pretty?"

"Well, yeah, but," he takes a breath and looks back up at him, and there's a certain look in his eyes that Mikey can't place, exactly, but he can feel it in his chest, so he kind of gets it. "They make me think of you."

"Me?"

"Yeah, like," he reaches up and runs a thumb across Mikey's cheek, letting it rest at the corner of his eye. "When you get really excited you get these," he pauses, probably trying to find the right word. "I don't know. It looks like stars."

"Oh," he can barely breathe out. "You're- you. You know that your dumb smile is the best thing, like," Mikey reaches up and pokes his lower lip, "it's like the sun. Bright."

"Guess we're a good balance, then," Nate whispers.

Mikey hears the rain hitting his window when they kiss. Nate's mouth is warm against his, and it's like… everything seems to fall into place. Nate's hand is still cupping his cheek and it really does feel like the sun is shining just for Mikey. He feels its warmth in a way he never has.

Somewhere, a piece of earth is seeing rain for the first time.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't even have an explanation for this
> 
> catch me on [twitter](http://www.twitter.com/alcoholnregret) and [tumblr ](http://www.sidnate.tumblr.com)


End file.
